Friday, June 20, 2014

Shadow Self



Fearless

You say the hill's too steep to climb,
Chiding
You say you'd like to see me try,
Climbing
You pick the place and I'll choose the time
and I'll climb
the hill on my own
the hill in my own way
just wait a while for the right day
and as I rise above the tree line and the clouds
I look down hear the sound of the things you said today
fearlessly the idiot faced the crowd, smiling
merciless, the magistrate turns 'round, frowning
and who's the fool who wears the crown
go down in your own way
and everyday is the right day
and as you rise above the fear lines in his frown
you look down
hear the sound of the faces in the crowd.  

Argiope Aurantia Golden Orb Weaver
     My past few posts have been poking holes in my fears.  Letting go of fears.  The spiders and their webs can be described as an aspect of my shadow self, shadow energies, or since I am comparing the fears to spiders and their homes, perhaps my shadow totem animal.  In real life, when  I see a spider in my home, I get angry and kill it.  Gross, dirty and I don't want it biting me in my sleep.  They make me feel vulnerable and embarrassed that they are in my house.  Pink Floyd's song Fearless came on
Pandora today making me realize  it's time to rise above these fears, vulnerabilities ... The anger.  My angry vindictive punch you in the face envisioning self  buries this anger so deep to hide and cower in fear feeling powerless yet personally vindicated knowing I am right.  An angry little girl whose only way to defend herself is to cultivate justified anger which soothes her in an ocean of cruelty.  The pattern repeats over and over and over until disease riddles my body.
     Fears are aroused as I squash the spiders, but they just come back.  Like the songs says, It's time to rise above the tree line and the clouds.  Look down at my shadows ... my spiders, acknowledge them while moving on in my own way.   Gazing at the anger below ...  the shadows, letting go and flying above.  Above it all embracing the spiders instead.  Everyday is the right day.  The shadows are still with me as I fly.  I just acknowledge them now.  
Wilbur and Charlotte
     Spiders still crawl, I just no longer take the plunge into anger when they show up.  I look at them and realize there's a lot more to them, plus these spiders don't own me, but they can help me.  Spiders as spirit guides are seen as weavers of life's fate ... creative with their skills of web making.  So, I take my fears and reverse the hold they have on my life.  Dear spiders please help me be creative in my life while realizing I have a hand in my fate.  I embrace the good that these spiders offer me instead of fearing them.
     We all have our good and our bad leading with our shining sun while hiding our shadowy underbelly.  I face my anger and ask it to move on replacing the shadows with light replacing the fear of the spidery unknown with creativity and empowerment embracing the messages, the writing in the webs to heal and share with you.  Spiders help me write this blog opening myself up being vulnerable relaying my communications.  Facing life --the good and the uncomfortable with a confident, steady mind.

The spiders crawl and weave guiding me towards doing the good work, the hard work, my life's work ... messages. 

"Do you understand how there could be any writing in a spider's web?  "Oh no," said Dr. Dorian.  "I don't understand it.  But for that matter I don't understand how a spider learned to spin a web in the first place.  When the words appeared, everyone said they were a miracle.  But nobody pointed out that the web itself is a miracle."
EB White Charlotte's Web 
     Create your own miracles.  Find the messages that will help you.  Sometimes these messages will be waiting for you in the shadows with the creepy crawly spiders where you are extremely uncomfortable yet all to familiar with --your fears.  However, once you have the confidence to focus on the shadowed messages you will rise above your fears.  Your fears are that crowd ... that magistrate in the song, but you are now in the clouds and they don't have any sort of unhealthy hold on you anymore.  Terrific!!!

     


1 comment:

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