Don't Stop Believin

     During the summer of 2011, I was out with my girls on a Friday night watching one sing in her Heart cover band.  Good times ='s Getting Tipsy.  I always feel guilty about the getting tipsy part and tipsy is a very soft description of my behavior.  Alas, I have a tendency to not drink for a month and then totally blowing it out in one night spending a bunch of money because I prefer expensive red wine or liquor.  Is this bad?  I don't even know so, I'm gonna try and deconstruct it.  Pretty much all of my close family members and friends play along.  I don't get the impression that any of my PGSG friends participate in this sort of behavior.  The ones I know well don't that's for sure.  So ... the guilt ... eghhhhh!  And you know our society, binge drinkin is straight up 'merican!  Come on ya'll our society promotes it! Weekend warriors are where it's at.

     Ok, so enough about society and other people.  What about me?  Because I only have one body, and my peace of mind is something only I can wrestle with.  So, truth, I feel guilty, my RA is about five times worse the next day (ouch), and my poor road weary liver.  When's a girl gonna get a handle on this because it's fun for about four hours tops and then it's total crap for the hangover?

     This has been an ongoing issue that I want to resolve.  My goal --being able to get out and have two to three drinks instead of seven to ten ( a few of them shots).  Hmmmmm I wanna do it should I try?  In the words of yoda, "Do or Do not there is no try."  So I solemnly swear to the interwebs, the intahnets, this information superhighway, to myself, and to the spirit in the sky.  I will do this!!!  This will include some

changes in the dynamics between me and my peeps.  I have a tendency to lead the charge in frivolity, shot buying, and all around silliness while hanging out.  I get things going and normally keep it going instigating binge behavior.  Because, who wants to do this alone?  Yawn ...  At this age, I've pared down my friends and I don't think anyone will mind the shift.  In my twenties, I may have lost some friends, but not now, thankfully these older and wiser days my people are all keepers.
     I gotta believe in myself ... no stopping.  Speaking of believing by now you've read the title of this post and perhaps listened to my Journey power song --let's delve into believin.  That night, my friend's band was the opening act for a Journey cover band.  You know cover bands love em or hate em, after you've had a few drinks or quite a few they sound fantabulous!!!!!  Well, even on my fun boat of intoxication I could tell the main singer was amazing.  The pipes on this guy took over the room.  His voice was spot on and if my memory serves me correctly, unfortunately, he looked more like Meatloaf than Steve Perry.  But his voice --he had me spellbound.  

My old church's breathtaking alter

     And then something very out-of-this-world happened.  Strong chills started swirling all over my body as a powerful feeling of love washed over me and I was transported way back to my childhood listening to Father Sabo belting it out at my church, St.Mary's.  Father Sabo was an extraordinarily gifted singer and as a kid I thought his singing was par for the course at a Catholic mass;  Beauty, faith, and dedication all rolled into a voice of a jolly priest. This assumption created a let down for all of the Catholic churches I attended in the future.  (It took over twenty years to find another sincerely spiritual and beautiful voice in Master Ou Wen Wei the creator of PGSG.)  I felt Father Sabo there encouraging me, loving me, guiding me; tears poured down my face.  His spirit was with me as this cover band was playing Don't Stop Believin.  And I realized all of those years Father Sabo sounded like Steve Perry (probably better because of the sincerity of his heart and faith) and he was using this song to communicate with me, encourage me and love me.  Don't give up, Cristen, you got this!  You are not alone.  Aghhh what a moment in time --so thankful.
     So now you are thinking a drunk delusion, no, no, no, I say, this has happened many other times sober.  What happened was real and now when I listen to Journey I am reminded of Father Sabo's support and love.  Always there even on the other side.  So when you drop your head and say I can't unleashing excuse after excuse don't ever forget that even though you may feel alone and helpless you never really are and you can.  Encouragement and strength are waiting for you to harness their powers.  You too can utilize Don't Stop Believin as one of your power songs.  It's great fun!  The song is full of positive energy.  Whatever you are struggling with you got this!  Just as I will get a handle on the binging and all of my other issues ... rheumatoid arthritis, pain, emotional problems, etc.  In the spirit of Yoda, Steve Perry and Father Sabo, yes you can, don't give up, and don't ever stop believin.